


and one to grow on

by anoldaccount



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Frivolous Discussion of Blowjobs, Gen, Implied Past Underage, kinkmeme fill, possible ooc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7492155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anoldaccount/pseuds/anoldaccount
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kinkmeme prompt was "Gen or Any pairs, no one knows how old Shiro is" and "Shiro is 18-19 years old, but everyone, including Keith, thinks he is in his mid-late 20s (handwave how his age never came up before). both crack and angst are welcomed."</p>
            </blockquote>





	and one to grow on

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty AU for what I actually headcanon the character ages as. I went with what seemed funniest for a 1AM kinkmeme fill that I knew wouldn't be beta'd.
> 
> Link to original prompt:
> 
> https://voltron-kink.dreamwidth.org/1161.html?thread=53385#cmt53385

Too early to sleep, too late after the latest round of Castle repairs to do anything but lay around, and Hunk came up with a concern.

"Do Alteans celebrate birthdays? Anyway, without an Earth calendar, how will I know when everyone's birthdays are?" He wrung his hands. "I'll make a birthday cake out of food goo if I have to, but I think it'd be better to know when to keep ingredients on hand, you know what I mean?"

Shiro's shoulders sank. "You're right. You all deserve to have good birthdays. I should have thought of that as team leader."

"Guys." Pidge didn't even look up from the computer. "I've still got Earth electronics on me, you know. If you wanted an Earth calendar all you had to do was ask."

Standing, Shiro moved to lean on the back of the couch behind Pidge. "Can you make us a birthday calendar with reminders a week in advance? I think it would be good for everyone to hold on to all the reminders we can of," he paused, "home. It would also probably help us all in general to be able to keep track of Earth time."

"One sec." said Pidge. "Will do, just lemme-- there. Okay. This won't take long, but I'll need everyone's birthdays."

"What time is it at the Garrison right now, anyway?" asked Hunk, leaning over.

"Three thirty-six in the morning." said Pidge. "We've been running on twenty-six hour days, so while our sleep cycle's been erratic, this is about seven at night compared against our usual patterns."

Hunk groaned. "That's weird. This is weird. Being in space is weird."

"In the future, can you keep me up-to-date on information like that?" asked Shiro, sharpening. "We have to be ready to fight at any moment, but it would be useful to be able to take this into account when making judgement calls."

"Gotcha. I'll set it up so that you get that on a data pad, regularly updated. Now. Month and day of birth, please, all around, everyone."

Nobody spoke for a long moment.

"Okay," started Shiro, "since you came up with this, you go first."

"Uh, May eighth." said Hunk. "Mom always said I was her first Mother's Day present."

"Wow. That's...actually, that's really cute." said Lance. "Mine's August third. Nobody should feel pressured to find a lady to jump out of a cake for me, just sayin', but that might be nice." 

After a moment, he looked down. "Or space garlic to try to make garlic knots." he mumbled.

"Should I be making a wishlist with this, too?" asked Pidge. "Stuff that's both realistic and things we can get in space. As nice a birthday gift as it'd be to get back to Earth and find out that idiot I voted for was replaced."

"Wait, how old are you?" asked Lance. "I wasn't old enough to register for that election."

"I'm twenty-three." said Pidge, looking at him oddly. "How old did you think I was?"

"You're what? No way." Lance scoffed. "I figured you were fifteen and faked your way in somehow. No way are you three years older than me, shorty."

"Hey, my brother's barely even taller than me anymore." Pidge protested. "Shiro, back me up."

Shiro rubbed the bridge of his nose. "It's true. And Matt said you're only two years younger than him, just that you were late to enlistment."

"Okay, we gotta have it out right now. How old's everyone?" asked Lance, crossing his arms. "I'm twenty, I know that Hunk's twenty-one-- not that he's willing to use it for anything."

"I went along with just about all of your plans," said Hunk, "but I was NOT going to use my ID to buy you beer."

"I didn't turn twenty too long ago." said Keith. "Uh, for the list, November eleventh. And I guess I'd like a new pair of gloves when the time comes?"

"So, Shiro, how old are you?" asked Pidge. Attention swiveled to him. He steeled his back, opened his mouth, and then faltered.

"I don't actually know." he admitted. "What month and year are it on Earth?"

"It's January fourteenth." said Pidge.

"Then I turned eighteen during-- that year." he said. "My birthday is March thirteenth."

Everyone froze, staring.

"How did I not know that?" asked Pidge. "My dad never said anything about your age. You were only seventeen on the mission?"

"Dude, minimum enlistment age is seventeen!" said Lance. "Like, you'd have to have pulled what I thought Pidge did and joined at fifteen!"

Shiro sighed. "No secrets between paladins, I guess. I did. There was an error in the system that listed my year of birth wrong. I just...never bothered to get it corrected."

"That's messed up, man. I thought you were, like, thirty!" Lance made a terrible expression. "It's too weird for you to be younger than me."

"Imagine how I feel." said Pidge. "From the way Matt talked about you, I figured you were older than him. He really looks up to you."

Everything turned into a flurry of everyone trying to talk at once.

"You were only sixteen during my first time?" asked Keith, voice cracking, once he was done counting on his fingers.

"Your first what?!" Lance shrieked.

"This weird crush just got a lot weirder." mumbled Pidge.

"Guys, I think. Guys." started Hunk.

The chattering intensified.

"Give Hunk room to speak!" said Shiro, commanding, and they all settled.

"I think we're missing the most important thing here." said Hunk. He lay a hand on Shiro's shoulder. "Shiro, you're our leader, no matter what. You've clearly dealt with a lot of stuff younger than you should have, but you're still the most levelheaded and responsible one, and we trust you."

"Thank you, Hunk." said Shiro.

"That paternal gaze thing is gonna freak me out even more for the next few weeks, isn't it?" Lance whispered to Pidge.

"I still haven't gotten to the most important thing!" Hunk continued. "Shiro missed his own eighteenth birthday. We gotta pull a party together, stat!"

Shiro's eyebrows furrowed. "I appreciate the thought, but that seems kind of frivolous."

"It's a major milestone." said Hunk dreamily. "My eighteenth was great. We hit up a poutine buffet."

"Okay, but who's gonna take him to buy his first legal porn and lottery ticket? Where can you even buy porn in space?" asked Lance. "And who's gonna give him his lucky eighteenth birthday blowjob? Don't look at me like that, it's totally a thing."

"I'll pass." said Keith absently. "Someone else should get a chance at that."

"How do the mechanics of that even work, though?" asked Pidge. "Is it still lucky if it's not on his eighteenth?"

Lance stopped to think about it. "It probably does if you swallow."

"Who's swallowing what?" asked Coran, startling them all.

"Nobody's swallowing anything." said Shiro with an air of long-suffering.

"Somebody is at least going to swallow the cake I'm going to make." Hunk put his fists on his hips, determined. "Not all at once. Sharing is caring."

Pidge looked thoughtful. "That might be a solution for the lucky eightee--"

Coran clapped his hands together. "Sounds delightful! What's the occasion?"

"We missed Shiro turning eighteen years old, which is a big deal on Earth. So we're giving him his party a few months late." said Hunk. "Maybe we should make it bigger to make up for lost time..."

Moustache twitching, Coran looked disturbed. "Aren't your Earth years quite short? Why, that's hardly any age at all! I'm barely a robust hundred-and-twenty in Altean, myself! Give or take a few. I'd assumed he was sixty at the youngest. Are the rest of you all younger than, er, Earth twenty?"

"Turns out I'm the oldest. I'm twenty-three, which is APPARENTLY a big deal." said Pidge.

"Ah, I'd assumed you were about that in Altean years." Coran replied. "I never would have dreamed you were all so...young. I already knew you were young, but in my day, it was rare for an Altean younger than thirty to end up on the battlefield. Usually terrible circumstances."

"With the latest advances, most humans live to be about ninety on average. Eighteen is the most common coming-of-adult-age threshold in various Earth cultures." Pidge explained.

Coran got a little teary-eyed. "I never knew! You poor, short-lived creatures who I'd considered immature! And our stalwart Black Lion paladin having escaped the Galra and rallied the fight against them before even reaching your primitive standard of adulthood." He struck a ridiculous pose. "Come, Hunk! We must notify the Princess at once, so that she may prepare to ceremonially officiate the truly incredible coming-of-age revelry you all deserve!"

Keith sidled up to Shiro sympathetically, making an awkward expression over all the hubbub. "We're doing this because we care deeply about you. As a team. We've bonded." he said patiently.

"You might have a point," mused Lance to Pidge, "it feels like it'd be luckier if it was from all of us."

Pidge leaned on steepled hands, expression obscured by glasses-glare. "I have logistical planning to do."

"Well," said Shiro, resigned, "I can safely say that whatever happens, this will be my most memorable not-birthday."

Shenanigans ensued.

(The most memorable actual birthday would be his twenty-first, because that would be the one after Lance had discovered space bars with space strippers.)

END


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